Tuesday, August 07, 2007

To All You HATERS!!

756!!!
Barry cracked the historic home run over the right field fence tonight at AT&T Park in San Fransisco. Congratulation Barry! The haters will try to dismiss your achievement. But let them. You smacked the ball 756 times over the fence and you are officially the home run king and the greatest player in my generation. Bud Selig ( MLB Commissioner) was not there but who the fuck cares. Your friends, family and your fans were there to witness greatness. I saw it live on T.V and I am proud to say I witness one of the greatest day in baseball history. So now since it's over. Let's move on and enjoy the rest of the summer.

Pfeiffer gets her "due"! It's about time!


Our goddess of absolute immortal beauty Michelle Pfeiffer FINALLY received her star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame this week. A woman who let's her body of work and her fantastic body speak for her rather than driving drunk, whoring around, and creating all sorts of ridiculous drama.Young whores of Hollywood. Take notes! Her new movie " Stardust" opens this Friday. Check it out. It's a cute movie ( guys that means take the ladies).

Whack Ass Quote Of The Day!




He even pushed aside the recent criticism from soccer great Pele, who said Beckham needed to focus more on soccer and less on his celebrity.
"I'm not here for the glitz and glamour," Beckham said. "I'm here to play soccer."



Sure David. I guess All sports stars have time to take photo ops with REAL PLAYERS and try to push their new cologne when they should be playing or at least showing up to the games dressed up and supporting your teammates. Also I guess most sports athletes go out of their way to be seen with their Hollywood star friends as well. Yea David. You are not here for the glitz and glamour!


FYI:


The Galaxy are 3-5-5 and are second to last place in the Western MLS Standings with little to no chance of winning their division.


Fucking media whore!


Sunday, August 05, 2007

Backstabbers and Nazi's!!


This weekend Hitler ( President Bush) tried to yet pull another fast one. In the late hour on Sat night the Nazi signed the "wire tap bill" that allows him to wire tap " suspected terrorist" overseas and here. And who does he put in charge of overseeing this wiretapping? His biggest and his sweetest bitch "Alberto Gonzales". The same fuckhead that is under investigation for being charged with perjury or making false statements to Congress regarding his firing of federal DA,s who didn't go along with the Bush program.The House late Saturday night approved the Republican version of a measure amending the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act by a vote of 227-183, with most Republicans and conservative Democrats supporting the bill.
The White-House backed legislation closes what the Bush administration has called critical gaps in U.S. intelligence capability by expanding the government's abilities to eavesdrop without warrants on foreign suspects whose communications pass through the United States
Now the Democrats vow to alter this bill once it is re-introduced to congress. And since the Democrats have done absolutely nothing to stop Bush and his evil agenda. And the fact that Republican wolves in Democrats sheep's clothing sided with the Republicans on this violation of people's privacy. ONCE AGAIN these so called conservative Democrats have fucked us over again! How in the fuck can anything get done when one party stands firm while the other chooses sides and will stab you in the back in moments notice! This is a fucking joke! The political process in this country is in shambles! Yes people. I'm pissed!

Inside Paula's World


Despite what people say. Paula Abdul is a crazed out pill popper! So it does not surprise me that rumors of her and her so called demands are so far out. You gotta know she is deep into her Meds!
Close sources say, "There's a salon chair in her house where she gets her hair and makeup done every day. She'll sit in it, set an alarm, and then, because she's on so many painkillers, pass out while her hair and makeup guy gets her ready for the day. When the alarm goes off she'll wake up, and God forbid the poor guy isn't done yet. All hell breaks loose." Abdul's rep said, "There's no alarm that I've ever seen."
From the crazed out outburst on her dumb ass reality show " Hey Paula ". You could believe that story. She really is one sick puppy. Two failed marriages ( one with a guy who had to be gay), close friends who are her employees ( a serious no, no) and 4 rats ( oops, small dogs) that virtually run her house, and a prescription drug problem that she refuses to acknowledges. Baby girl............seek some help PLEASE!!

Whore # 3 gets another cover....rather than a booking photo!


Is it me or does whore # 3(Lindsay Lohan) look like Linda Evans on crack?! In her exclusive interview with ELLE magazine before she was arrested in Santa Monica. Tells her story of how she NEVER drinks and drives ( hahahahaha) and a whole bunch of other mindless bullshit. What a sick and irresponsible whore!

Are You Serious?!


It looks like this nasty, crack headed, freak ( Flavor Flav) is getting another chance to inappropriately touch young girls asses and act like he's looking for love! VH-1 has green lighted a 3rd "Flavor of Love"! This guy is just fucking nasty. Why do women keep degrading themselves by doing this piece of shit. Come the fuck on! The guy's got 7 kids by 5 different women. And is a 50 year old played out "hype man"! He has no talent other than coining the phrase Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Boyeeeeeee!
And has no class, no social skills, and no taste! Yet there are women who are obviously just trying to jump their own sad and pathetic careers. Knowing you are never going to get far in Hollywood being a whore for Flava Flav. I can go on and on talking shit about this fucking nasty ass moron but I won't. Just giving him this much media time is a second too much!
Fucking 50 year old man with a big ass clock around his neck that doesn't even work......... just pathetic!

A Electronic Lynching


Yesterday Barry Bonds broke a nearly 40 year record by tying Hank Arron's "Home Run" king record of 755. A huge deal if you are a baseball fan right?. NO! In fact it seems that 70 percent of the sports community hates the fact that he has tied and can even break the record. And why? STEROIDS!! Sportswriters and the press has slammed Barry because they believe the man used steroids to get to that number. YET..........no one has come out and said " I saw Barry Bonds used, buy, own, or even give steroids to anyone".

When Bonds was asked during a Congressional hearing if he had used steroids. Bonds admits that he may have been given steroids but was not aware because it might have been mixed with other nutritional supplements. There you go.........end of story. So because of that one statement. Barry has become the poster child of the 'steroids" era! Despite several other players who have used and been caught using "roids". Barry is the big Black fish they want to destroy!

All dumb ass excuses have been used such as head size increasing, violent mood swings, body mass increase, and improved numbers since smacking the 73 home runs in 2001.

FACT:
Barry Bonds head size HAS NOT increased! He is wearing the same hat size since he came into the big leagues.

Barry numbers have ALWAYS been great. It was his home run numbers began to increase after the 73 home runs he hit in one year. DESPITE the fact that Barry was receiving random testing since 2002. All test have proven negative.

Barry's mistress claims that he had violent mood swings during the 2001 period and he sold baseball memorabilia under the table which led to a tax fraud investigation. Yet this ho is asking "Playboy" to pose nude and has been selling her story to the highest bidder. And not one police report from her claiming domestic violence or any abuse.

Not one person has jumped over Mark McGuire (63 home runs). Nor Lance Armstrong (7 tour De France wins) even though France has claimed several times that he used and should be investigated.both white athletes and ass has continued to be kissed to this day. Bottom line is that Barry has NEVER been nice to the press and because he doesn't kiss their ass. Barry has pulled out of his shed, tied up and brought to the gallows. So the media has done their best to disgrace his name, piss on his achievements, and tarnish his place in baseball history.

When people can PROVE that Barry took steroids other than whack ass hearsay and speculation. Then give me a call! Otherwise leave the man alone and let him enjoy his great achievement.


I'm outta here!!

Saturday, August 04, 2007

You must OBEY!




If there is any movie out there to see in your life time as a left winger. The movie " They Live" should be one of them. The 1988 movie has hit the hammer when it comments on today's society . If you relate the mysterious aliens to rich Republicans. Then you would get the message and fast! In fact it's almost as scary of a commentary on our current lives as you can get.

It's on Cinemax and out on DVD! If you haven't seen it................do so. But for those who have. Is that top picture not true or what?. People you must O.B.E.Y!
I'm outta here!

Usher finally jumps the broom!


UPDATE!!!
It looks like Usher and his new wife Tamika were married over the weekend. Despite the huge drama of last weekend. It appears that it might have been made up to be something it wasn't . The good thing is that kept it hush, hush to avoid the media drama. Nice move Usher. Hope you and the new wife have a wonderful musical marriage ( 5 years.......tops)!

Are We That Desperate For Entertainment?!






I was sitting at home and decided to watch A&E's The Two Corey's . Have we sunken this low to where now Hollywood is making reality shows on one hit wonders?. Who next? A show based on what happen with the "Fact's Of Life" girls?!
The show is really sad. Corey Haim is a walking train wreck while Corey Feldman is just a pussy whipped clown. And if I was Feldman. I would kick that tool Haim to da curb in a heartbeat. Especially when Haim thought it was a brilliant idea to do a " Lost Boy's" sequel. And when Feldman told him that there was one in the making that didn't include either one of them . Haim cried like a hopeless little bitch!
What is the world coming to?. Bring back Knight Rider or Knots Landing. Anything but this crap!
I'm outta here!

WE'RE HERE, WE'RE ASSHOLES, GET USED TO IT!


So starting next week we are bringing our favorite 3 whores back here to Blogspot! The hottest news on these bitches and Hollywood will be right here on TTB!! We can't wait! So welcome "Why-space" and " Facebook" readers. We hope you bookmark us and make us your new home! Blogs will come fast and furious and we love comments. We lean to the far left so if you love Bush. You might want to check out Toby Keith's blog!
So the day has finally come and we are ready to go! So enough hype.............let's get this bitch moving!
I'm outta here!

IT TAKES THREE DAYS.....................


that is how long our dear president takes when it comes to showing up to ANY disaster concerning Americans. I guess it takes one day to sink in, day two for his people to teach him what to say, and day three to find out how to fly the helicopter over the scene. Remember the days when a president got off his ass to go out and rush to a disaster and try to help those victims in need?. Oh, yea...........you can't because for the past six years. This asshole has been pulling the same routine. Clinton did it, George Sr did it, so why can't this dumb ass do it?. It's not like he was doing something else.
He hasn't used his "veto" pen in about two weeks. We know he is not doing anything on the war. I guess it took him some time to recoup from having that cold, hard, steel rod shoved up his ass from his colon exam. I guess he is not used to getting fucked like he done us for the past 7 years.
I just think it's crazy for this man to take his sweet ass time to show his face at a national disaster. The fucking D.M.V moves faster! But the only good thing that has come outta this is that the house and the senate did pass legislation to rebuild the bridge and make it stronger. And steel bridges throughout the country will now get a proper look over. But it still does not guarantee that these weak bridges will get the funds to repair and strengthen their infrastructure. So be safe crossing these death traps for now.

Monday, July 30, 2007

There is a God!


Whack-ney and K-fAg marriage is finally OVER!! The divorce was officially finalized and as of November. Our boy Kevin won't be getting no more of those 35 grand a month checks. But since he's getting HALF of the house they shared in Malibu. He will be doing fine for at least a year. You know that punk ass buster will waste it all on weed, jewelry, and keyboard equipment.
As for his crazy ass whorish ex-wife. She keeps the kids and gets to torture us more with her bad ass singing and her trailer trash drama that's keeps a man like me in business!

Bradgelina Moving To Europe?!

It looks like our Bradgelina is still coping with Angie's mama's death last winter. Her weight loss hasn't change and Brad is worried about the pressure of the press and the constant media that surrounds them 24/7.
Brad is so concerned about his foxy lady Angie so much. That he is considering moving the whole "world family" to Berlin....................yes, that's right! Berlin Germany!. There the family can somewhat can avoid a majority of the media and Europe would give those international babies the privacy they need. And maybe both can reconsider some of the bad choices in movies they have been making in the past two years. But who knows. This story could just be another rumor on the large list of stories on the famous couple!

This Movie Bombed Baby!!


"I Know Who Killed Me" died a horrible and nasty death at the box office this weekend! I mean come on. The story sounded foolish and her as a stripper was the only believable premise in this turd! Well I guess she has bigger things on her plate right now. Once she serves her time for her DUI and drug trail. She can star in a new movie from prison called " I Know Who Raped Me"! But then again............you can't rape the willing!

Usher calls it off!!


What is up this this mysterious cancelled wedding for Usher and his fiance Tamika?! It seems his mother/ex manager was opposed to the wedding. And get this..........he wanted and elegant dinner wedding reception and she wanted a backyard BBQ!!! How fucking ghetto! Bitch! This ain't Lil Jon video where after eating some ribs and hot links. All da bitches get down on da flo!
He really need to rethink his options! This bitch sounds like some whacked out trash! Stay tuned for latest news on this R and B drama!

The " Ten"

Just wanted to put a shout out to a fantastic new independent film coming out this Friday. An all star cast including a marvelous performance by a certain former "O.C" Television star!

It's a hilarious spin on the ten commandments. Great film and if you don't get a chance to see it in the theatre. You MUST see it on DVD. And then buy it as gifts to your dear friends!

I have to go see if I can go catch it again. It's just soooooooooooooo good!


I'm outta here!

Friday, July 27, 2007

A Leg Splitting Drag Queen

Holding Out for a Hero



Nothing gets my day started than watching a drag queen do leg splits! This video was like watching a bad variety act on a cruise ship. That's if it was a GAY CRUISE!!!And what a leg splitting performance that was!

The Black, Gay Superman just added the right kind of spice to an otherwise "salty" performance! And the irony of it all......the drag queen is dragged off the stage. After viewing it. I don't need a hero. I need a therapist for helping explain the reason I would put this cheesy shit on my blog!


What's with me and my fans sending me videos with drag queens. Are they trying to tell me something?. And no I am not gay. I just play one on T.V!


I'm outta here!

A Risk Not Worth Taking!




Today I spent the entire day in bed with a sour stomach! My insides felt like I had just threw up and the ate 20 pancakes with extra bacon and a milkshake chaser! And why you may ask?. Because my foolish ass stopped at a KFC/ Pizza Hut for a 3 piece meal and a soda. Know I should have known that I would be taking my life into my own hands by eating that tortured and closely caged chicken that lived in shit and was boiled alive before he was skinned and fried to make this hellish meal!



And what is up with the two fast foods places in one concept?! I don't want my pizza smelling like corn on the cob! Who the fuck brain stormed that idea?. And when you combine the shittiest pizza with the crappiest chicken. Nothing good could come out of that. And you wonder why American kids have diabetes and are a bunch of fat asses.



Speaking of fat asses. If I continue to eat that fried shit. Not only will I have to order my clothes from the Big and Tall store. My arteries will close up and need to be open up with the jaws of life!



But I knew something was wrong when the guy behind the counter asked me " are you sure you want 3 pieces"? Red flag number one! When they were putting my "death meal" in the box. There was a dumb ass mopping the floor with some strong ass ammonia........red flag number two! And when I got my soda. The coke machine looked like it was last clean.......when a young Bobby Brown came to town to perform a concert!



All I know is that my ass may need to go back to becoming a vegatarian. So word to the wise my friends. If you into taking risk....................go gamble in Vegas!



I'm outta here!!!



TTB is coming home......for a few months at least


Well. I am setting back into my old home here and I must say that it is somewhat refreshing. Now I will be only here until Jan 08. But I plan to make this blog a rocking, asskicking experience! It's nice knowing my fellow partner in crime " Big Lu" is on Blogspot and still helping the world become a better place!



If you enjoy rock ( old school baby) and your politics hardcore and to the left (like I do). Then please check him out. As for myself. I tend to go the Hollywood route. My blog is about entertainment, politics, and what pisses me off that day! Am I ever happy?. YES! Before Bush came to the White House! But now I am a bitter, crabby, but amazingly "super hot" guy who gets easily annoyed at the world!


So next week. Get ready. It's time to turn it up a notch. Goodbye Whack-space and hello Blogger! Daddy has found a new home!


I'm outta here!

Monday, July 09, 2007

Curse You To Hell Alan Thicke!!!!


Ok. So my mom was watching TV and decided to be "tricked" by that Alan Thicke commercial where he is pushing the wonderful world of "Tahitian Village" in Las Vegas. After begging me to go with her and promising me that it was for only one day. I dedcided to see how she is wasting my money by going to this money trap!
We fly there and are greeted by a representative from the Village and driven to this hidden paradise! We knew something was wrong when we find out that we are getting on the freeway and DRIVING PAST DOWNTOWN VEGAS! We kept going about 10 more miles and we are saying to ourselves WTF! We get off the freeway and go about 5 more miles and we can see it. And I must admit. It looked nice from the outside. We drive up to the front and are greeted by more Tahitian cronnies dressed in Hawaian shirts and dress pants. And some of these people looked like if you got their name and put it through the Vegas police computer...............the bitch would blow up from all the priors it would have to print out!
So then we are whisked away to this convention room with 200 other couples ( suckers). And are welcomed by a guy named "Dan". No last name.........just "Dan". He began explaining all the wonderful things going on at Tahitian Village. And how it was made for the young at heart party crowd ( sorry mom)! He explained that every room is a hidden paradise and how you can close your eyes and think you were really in Tahiti ( yea..............if Tahiti was near the fucking Sun! It was over 100 degrees).
We then are forced to watch this crappy as movie about all the luxury that Tahitian Village has to offer. This film felt like it was "Gone With The Fucking Wind" ! Except that movie was somewhat entertaing and NOT AS LONG as this 3 hour spectacle of horse shit!

We then are whisked away to the registration desk to sign in and issued a room. Because of my so called celebrity status ( yea......right). We were issue to one of the better proprties on the plantation. The outside employees hardly smiled and I feel as if they didn't have their prison forelow program at this hell hole. They would be down on the strip handing out porno cards!
The 3 bedroom paradise they showed us was nice. Queen size beds and a LARGE bathroom. And it had Satilite TV and a kick ass kitchen. So TTB?! What could ever be so possibly wrong?! It had roaches! Yes people.........roaches! I am kicking it on top of one of these wonderful beds and I look off to the side and see a minture version of " The Black Spiderman" crawling on the wall. I got up, got a shoe and a cup and whacked this shit outta that animal!

Then I called the office and told them I had a roach in my room. And you know what they told me?. WE DON'T HAVE ROACHES AT TAHITIAN VILLAGE! I said " Your'e right............... because by nature's standards it would be too damn fucking big to be called a roach! In fact I don't know how it even got it's big ass up the wall"! Then Mr. I.Q said " Then it might have came from you bags"!
BITCH!! Do you know who the fuck I am?! You fucking low class doorknob! I don't have roaches poising as alligators in my house! What they fuck is wrong with you?! Did you take you meds?! The tool then said I was being rude and apologized for insinuating such an outlandious comment! Too late mo fo! The damage had allready been done. I asked for a rep ( prefferably a manger) to bring their ass over here and witness the carcass themsleves!

They brought over some "Barney Fye" looking mother fucker over to our suite who gave the "weakest performance" of a concerned employee I have seen! Not since I was given a barely speaking English apology from a Cambodian lady who poured soup on my ass at "The Panda House". Have ever seen such fake ass sympathy! I was beyond pissed but I wasn't going to ruin my mother's experience.
So the clown said he would get a cleaning team to go over the room while he treated us to a spa treatment. We got over there and the room was so fucking hot! I felt my skin frying! They apologized because their air conditioning blew out and they were giving messages out near the pool. Ok.................so we follow them out to a cabana, changed into a robe, and then walked to the pool. We get there and there must have been a "poor white trash" convention in town ! there was this " Larry The Cable Guy" looking fucker and his inbred girlfriend making all kinds of noises in the pool. So we get on the message bed and try to relax and I swear to God. They started fucking in the pool! all kinds of nasty noises were coming from that pool. Now they thought they were being private because they were hiding behind a big tree.

So I look at my massuse and she just smiled as to say "those whacky kids"! I was so disgusted that I just could not relax! I went back to the room and I thought I was in a scene from " Ghostbusters". Three guys wearing white jumpsuits spraying I don't know what around the outside and inside the room. what ever it was.........it smelled like ass and feet!

At this point I was so ready to go! But my mom was having the time of her life! I then walked down to the bar for a large drink. The bartender was gay and totally was flirting with me ( uh......ok). This just was the cherry on top of the ice cream! How could it get any worse?.

At night we were entertained by "Lighting" a rock tribute band that sounded like "pure ass"! and the lead singer came over to my mother during a song singing "Lady" from Styx! I thought I was going to puke blood! He then kissed her hand and blew her a kiss. Just fucking kill me now!

The next day we were asked to rate our stay and offered a once in a lifetime offer to purchase a suite. You gotta be fucking kidding me! I left that tropical paradise knowing I would never see that hell hole again!

The next time I see Mr. Thicke............I'm kicking him in the nuts!

I'm outta here!

Friday, July 06, 2007

Coming back In Aug 5th


After an HELLISH 2 years on Why-space! The TTB staff and I are coming back to Blogger starting Aug 5th! We plan to come back stronger and with a new look, new stories, but the same old trash that you love to hate! We look foward to seeing you here!
I'm outta here!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Shortest Blog Ever Written............


Madonna ( 1983)
YES.....VERY HOT!!!!










Madonna (2006) HELL NO!!........Not Hot!!!! Give It UP!!!!
Don't we wish all of our grandmothers look that good.

The Curse Of " The Mullet"


So. I am having dinner at one of my favorite old collage spots due to having a craving for some rally good Seafood. So minding my own buisness and all of a sudden this guy taps me on the sholders and says......." Hey, are you Keith?." I turn around and start to remember the face but what I can not get over is the fact that this fool still had a .............MULLET!!
In fact that I did know that guy and he will go nameless due to hiding that fact I want him spared from the shame ( Bill Simpson). Opps, my bad. So anyway. I knew him from back in da day in high school. Now I don't want to give away my age but let's just say.........that was in fashion when I was going with my Duran Duran t-shirt and K-Swiss shoes with matching Member's Only jacket. But what annoyed me so much is that not only was that a fashion " No-No" . But the fucker had grew to a portion that I thought the fucker was going on tour with the music group "Journey".
So you know I am trying to avoid this guy who still looks like he rolls into " Fantastic Sams" to get his rug trimmed and starts to bring up the good old days. Now I like to remminesse like any other guy but DAMN!! looking at that Mullet any longer , I thought I was going to hop in my "Ford Fiesta" and hang out in front of an 7-11. So I kept is short and sweet and he went on his way. Before he left I asked him what is he doing now. He told me........"Oh, I am a Best Boy at 20th Century Fox and I just finished up working on "X-Men". Damn people........you never know.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

HOW DARE YOU!!!!!! (BOTM March 06)
















The very same "HATERS" who attempted to trash Barry Bonds reputation are at it again. This time in a so-called tell all book that details Barry's steroid abuse. His jealousy of Mark Mcguire, and his so called HORRIBLE personality. And of course that racist rag Sports Illustrated backing this " Fiction" and treating it like it was fact are going full force in publishing excerpts from this waste of a tree book. The mere fact that not one of these accusations have even the slightest of proof nor have no material record that Barry Bonds was even using steriods in the first place.
The ridiculous and un-professional behavior of theses so called journalist should be at question and not Barry Bonds home run record or his level of performance. Barry Bonds was rated before his 71 home run record one of the greatest players to play the game in the 90's. Only Ken Griffey Jr came close. He had placed himself in the Hall Of Fame way before he his a single home run in the infamous year.
But somehow we always seem to go back to what Barry is doing. Jose Conseco went on record and gave a laundry list of players who were using steroids ( Juan Gonzales, Rapheal Palmerio, Sammy Sosa, Jason Giambi, Gary Sheffield, and of course let's not forget America's great white hope " Mark Mcguire") No one has even remotely come down hard on this guy who withing his last 7 years of baseball went from a skinny fatheaded goofball to a muscle bound freak. No one has yet to come down on him, nor the others that have been questioned. And waht about those who smacked home runs before only to dissapear such as Brady Anderson ( 52) Shawn Green ( 48) Mo Vaughn (50) Larry Walker (49). I guess those were "REAL" homeruns and we can cause those as fact not due to steroid use.
The real reason is this........the media has hated Barry Bonds from the very time time he kicked them out of the clubhouse when he camed to the Giants in 92. They have hated the fact that he did not need them. He was one of the greatest. He didn't need to kiss their old, white, viagra using asses.He distance himslf from the white players on the team. He had his own chair which no one could sit in. And his own TV that only he could watch in the clubhouse. They hated the fact that he was cocky, arrogant, successful.......and black.
So this steroid issue was great " smoking gun" to dismantle his record and his greatness in being one of the best players ever to play the game. Ty Cobb was an evil, racist who used the word "nigger" like it was saying "hello" but never do the media tries to damage his reputation the way the get after Barry Bonds. There are alot of arrogant assholes in baseball. But the racist media loves to jump on the biggest black prize winning bull in the pen.
What Barry did will and can NEVER be taken away. When your racist asses are dead and buried. His record will stand. When the French claimed that Lance Armstrong was using steriods not one American reporter try to prove or dispute their claims. But now it seems we have interview with people who gave someone drugs to a person who was close to Barry Bonds but yet no purchase reciepts, no first hand witnesses who saw Barry take these drugs. Not one of Barry's personal trainers claiming of such use...........no one. Only people who manufactured, and sold drugs to other doctors and trainers who know Barry was using.
It would not hold up in a court of law so they decided to use the sports buying public as their jury. Hate all you want you dickless fuckers because the month of march "BOTM" goes to authors Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams for their joke of a book.

I LOVE THIS WOMAN!!!!!

I was sitting at home and turned on the tv for the first time in two weeks and came accross "American Idol". Now I usually don't get into that crap but all of a sudden this angel came onto my screen.
Her name is Katherine Mc Phee and she is one of the contestants on the show. All I can say is .....WOW. Not only is she sexy as hell. But has a great voice and what charisma. Just amazing. I'll be watching this show until she wins and then later will ask her to marry me. Ok, maybe that might be a tad bit bold but hey .....that's me. Just tune in and catch one of her performances. You have not heard the last of that name.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Bitch and Tequila Don't Mix..............

Sorry boys and girls once again for the length of time between visits but your boys has been a busy beaver. I met this girl through " my-space" and we hit it off very nice. She was from up north and a very funny personality. She was very nice looking and loved my jokes. I took her to " The Ivy" which is big baller time here in LA.
We had a great time and again lots of laughs. But then again we all know a good first date does not always mean a even better second date. So tonight we went to a place called " El Cholo's" which is home to some of the greatest Mexican combination plates and Margarita's around. It was somewhat busy considering that it was Oscar night. So we had to wait for a table which was told to us would be 30 mins.
I being the smooth operator I am. decided to order a pitcher of Peach margaritas and a order of some of their world famous nachos. We chatted and I notice that she was drinking a lot more than she should. The next thing I know, she was plastered and speaking with that all so famous "drunk girl" slur. Our table was ready and I escorted her hoping that she would be cool about being slightly drunk. She told me that she had not eaten since Sat night and she has satyed up all night with her best friend.
Next thing I know she is throwing up and vomiting on my suit coat. The waitress came over and helped her to the bathroom while the busboys cleaned me and the table up. Thirty mins later she returned and try to act like nothing had happened. I asked her was she ok and she looked at me like I said her mamma was a whore! She then said in a low and yet forceful voice " don't embarrass me". What ?! Bitch you must be out of your mind!!! I am trying to see if your drunk ass was ok and all of sudden you are going to try to put my ass on blast about EMBARASSING YOU?!. I just said to myself........ok just let it go and make the best of it.
So we ordered and she then decided to try to punish my ass by trying to hit my wallet with ordering a lobster and crab fajitas and a small salad with two tacos on the side, one shot of tequila, and something sweet for desert. She is by far not a big girl ( 5'5, 110 ) so you guys know when the ladies are throwing your ass a good old fashion "Whoop em Up Style". And that sweet lady I met last week turned out to be " Ms Satan". The conversation was short and blunt and you know she did not eat 20% of her meal. Then she said that she would date a Black man but would not marry one because her parents would flip.
That's when "Operation Kick This Bitch To The Curb" went into full effect. when that bill came. I paid MY HALF and looked at her and said " Uh honey, yours came to $43.23". She then said "Opps I only have a hundred". Which followed me going " opps, I have change". She ordered another shot and decided to want to go to the bar for " Another Drink". I then looked at her and said " Didn't you have enough allready?." She then used some words I care not discuss on my site in fear that I will think about it and go back to her house and pull an " Ike Turner" on her ass and beat her with a white boot . Let's just say this....... I said a few choice words myself and left her ass there at the bar.
Well there you go boys and girls another sad ending to TTB love connection. But there was a good thing that did come out of this..........she left her car keys and house keys in my car. Can you say 1-800- LOC-SMTH?.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

This is HARVEY all the way




This could be my good friend Harvey. In fact I am sure this is him. Harvey , how could you!!

Sunday, February 26, 2006

BITCH OF THE MONTH....FEB 06


Now we all know that the "BOTM" ( Bitch Of The Month) was almost impossible to surpass. Mojo Shivers was the out right man who personified the word "Bitch" with his whining and his so-called "80 things he wants in a woman" entry. An entry that was so pathetic and retarded that it had to be smashed by yours truley. But when I thought it could not get worse. Along comes Fernando Vargas .......the greatest boxer to ever hold the title of being a " Boxing's Little Whiney Bitch".
He was the powerhouse from Oxnard Ca who fought his way from the dangerous barrios and grew up to become the TKO floor mat of some of the most major events in boxing today. Losing to the Likes of De La Hoya, Trinidad, and now Mosley, he has shown he cannot match with "ANY" respecable fighter in boxing. But unlike a REAL MAN who will admit to his loses and move on. Vargas tends to bitch and moan about bad ref calls, being misunderstood, not being the poster boy or fan favorite, and of course........the judges don't like me. So what a suprise it was to hear ol' Vargas saying that " he was winning the fight in the all rounds and that if the ref didn't stop the fight he would have won. Now COME ON!!! Does this look like the face of someone who was winning the fight?












I think not. Fernando, you are a tired ass whiney bitch who needs to retire. Go home and beat your wife, open up a strip club and sell crack like all washed up boxers who hit the skids in their carrers.Beating a cracked out "Winky Wright" was you claim to fame and it will never get any higher. Be a man, get over your loss and get out of my face. Give your spot to a kid who wants to be a winner. And with that said Fernando........you are Feb's "BOTM". Wear it with pride homie!!

Saturday, February 18, 2006

God I "HATE" The Winter Olympics...............


What would I rather be doing.......watching my grandmother put on her stocking or watching the Winter Olympics( ANSWER: Move over grandma, let me help you). You don't know how much I hate the Olympics right now . From the bobsleds to the Ice skating. Let's just end it allready. Sorry, I have been working on some serious projects and have not had the time to jot down a few things on my blog. I promise to be better throughout the next few weeks.

Friday, February 10, 2006

What do we "really" know about in home " Construction Workers"

Sorry guys for the delay but I had a lot of shit on my plate for the past couple of days. I had to finish a script and then had to watch these guys who are doing work at my crib. Have you ever had that feeling that when you have someone work in your home and while you are not there, these fucker are roaming through your stuff?. This is the feeling I have with these bastards. Even though they come highly recommended. They still look that they have been involved in a “prison lockdown” before. With there pants with the “large” pockets, shifty eyes, uncombed hair, funky ass breath, and poor social skills. It just makes it uncomfortable to have these jokers in my crib.
One of them had the nerve to say “ Hey, do you watch all those DVD’s in your living room”?. No fuck face. I like to have them around just in case “Armageddon” comes around and I need something to hide under. Now you know I can’t tell his dumb ass that or I will find some if not all missing when he finishes up work in my place. And that look they always seem to have when they are coming into you place. A look that says….” I can steal this, but not that, he will notice. I may get away with lifting that but I have to be cool about or he’ll think I am some kind of low life using a Plummer’s excuse to get into his crib and clean him out”.DUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
And notice they start working when you are watching them , but when you are away, they need 2 “extra” days to patch a hole in your wall?. All I am saying is folks…..keep your eye on these undercover criminals . And to all the home workers out there who have to come in a strangers home to do construction service……..shower, breath mints, and a good pair of fitting pants. I am so tired of having to deal with breath that smells like “ass and feet” and with your pants hanging off your crusty asses just to patch a hole in my wall. Why can’t they all look and dress like Tye Pennington?. Is that what makes him so special?. He is a construction /contractor that takes a shower and wear clothes that do not look like they were passed down through generations..Folks, is it just too much to ask?

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

My weakness.................


I was at auto show earlier today for a friend who was promoting his buisness new auto products for Ford's and Toyota's. It was a very private show and a very elegant event. Champange ( the real stuff....not that sparkling wine bullshit) and fine cheeses and high end crackers ( "fromage" as the French call it). So I'm walking around I saw the car of my dreams..................the new remade vintage style 69" Ford Mustang. Oh, I almost dropped to my knees. The speed, the power, the hot action you could pull driving that bad boy. Just too sweet!! I was allowed to sit in the car and had what could be the first non-sexual orgasm I ever had. The seat were like "Butta", soft and luxurious. The interior big enough for a man.......and a couple of hot ladies to go in the back. And when I was allowed to turn on the engine.......I could have died a happy man right there.
From this day foward. I will bust my ass to achieve my dream to get that car and be rolling in that bad boy before the age of 40 ( and I will have that girl in the pic as well.......hey, why not get greedy). It's good to have a dream.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

A " Jedi" funeral..................



This was sad weekend for me since I had to bury my cousin this week in Culver City. It was a sad occasion because of the fact that I was very close to this person and they were the same age. I had to prepare myself for what I thought was going to be a very sad and painful day. I got to the church and I must say, it was a nice service. The priest was a wonder man and gave a deep heartfelt service.
But I notice something strange about some of the people who attended the service. Especially a certain group of people sitting in the far left towards the from of the front of the church. This “special” group of people were wearing what I thought were robes which was quite strange or a funeral. So when the service was over I looked over to see these robe wearing people and to my surprise and shock I could not believe it. They were not wearing robes………..it was JEDI outfits!!!
This “special” group of people were “Star Wars Geeks” who came to the funeral to pay their last respects to my cousin “ Obi Won Rocmonamon”
( which I guess was my cousin’s Star Wars Geek name). From the information I received from my uncle. My cousin was huge “Star Wars” fan and had a reputation among the “Star Wars Geek” community in Los Angeles. My cousin was considered a “true jedi” and was respected among this particular group.
These people were not kids……they were adults. Not one young one among the group ( ages range from 25-50). In fact this group was considered the “ elite group” of jedI . The elders you Star Wars geeks may call them. It my cousin wish to have his friends dress in their JedI uniforms during the service and had requested a “Jedi funeral”. But my aunt was not having that so a compromise was met……….they would have a normal funeral and they could wear their outfits.
So after the burial. The jedi knights circle the casket and I swear to God. Pull out the light sabers and began to do this lame ass ritual chanting and shit and waving their light sabers as if they were “REAL” swords. They even brought a fucking boom box to play the “Jedi Theme”. Of course you know my family as well as other humans attending the burial were running back to their cars in hope that the other people placing flowers on their love ones gravesites would not place them and these jedi geeks at the same service.
Now I won’t even get into the wake service dinner. Let’s just say this……….there were more geeks there than at my “Duran Duran” high school fan club back in the 80’s. All dressed in their "SW" gear and looking fabulous. There was Darth Vader telling a Storm Trooper that the “ Del Taco on La Cienega has the most shitty service. Oh and lets not forget Yoda at the buffet table complaining that their was only “human food” being served and he had a craving for “star toads” from the planet “ Olivion”. And of course my cousin requested that the funeral be a celebration of new life and not a mourning for death. There was music, and nothing is more heart warming than to see Princess Irabu and Darth Vader doing the “bus stop” to “Touch It” by Busta Rhymes. And Yoda trying to get a female Storm Troopers 7 digits.Yes, this is the life of a "SW" geek who is a grown ass adult!! I hope in my life time NEVER to witness anything like that again. But then again I hope my cousin is smiling . Farewell Obi Won Rockmonamon. May the force be with you.........and please take your fucking Star Wars geeks with you as well.

The people you meet at Jamba juice............

Ok . So I head to my favorite Jamba Juice in Manhattan Beach and I keep running into this girl who always seems to be coming in from a long jog. Now this has happen for almost 5 months. I smile at her and smiles back and says "hello". Nothing big and sometimes we may strike up a conversation. So last night , I am looking through my friends " My Space" and I come across this picture ( see insert). Oh my Good googley golly........"It's her!!!! Now of course I called my friend to asked who is that girl and how does he know her. He tells me that she is topless dancer and singer and he got her picture off the internet ( I would have NEVER guessed topless dancer) But as you can see our girl has no shame to her game. So what do you say to a girl who you have seen with her ta ta's all over the internet? What else can you say the next time you are in line together with her at Jamba Juice............................Don't worry, that large "Strawberry Wild" is on me". He he

Saturday, February 04, 2006

WHAT DOES THESE PIC HAVE IN COMMON?.





Hollywood is getting way "TOO" Gay!! What is going on. Way too much man on man love going on. But hey there is nothing wrong with being too gay. But damn maybe it's just me.Maybe I should just come into the 21st century and see that it is ok to see two men embrace lovingly by a campfire. Or hugging with lust after a good take on a movie set ( see pic with Bryan Singer and Spacey getting way too personal) Or watching Ryan Seacrest look at himself in the mirror and turns around to see how his butt looks. I'm just saying......let's pace ourselves here. Way too much is going on. I have a hard time watching a straight couple getting it on on camera yet along Jake and Heath making out in a tent.
At least even the playing field and show J-Lo making out with Mariah Carey. Now that would be NICE!!! You know Lesbians need love too. In fact, I think we may need more lady on lady action instead of watching Chassidy Bono rolling around " Celebrity Fit Club" talking about how many women she's been with. Come on Hollywood!! How about it?! Jennifer Gardner slopping a fat one on Jessica Alba.Courtney Cox on top of Jennifer Aniston in the hot tub, Angelina with any hot girl. Now that is the type of " Gay Love" we all need to see.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Stand Up Calling Me Again.............



Ahhhhhhhhhh the smell of cigarettes, beer, and cheap purfume in a dark and small room is whispering my name again. So gang that means it's stand up comedy time once again. I will be heading out to LaJolla " Comedy Store" for 2 nights Thursday and Friday nights so my dear ol mama can see her precious baby boy perform on her birthday. It's should be "da bomb" since it has been almost 3 months since I last got on stage and attacked a heckler for wearing what was a " Bomber jacket" from the movie "Krush Groove". And of course his breath was smelling like "ass, and hotdog water".Ahhhhhhhhhhh good times, good times.
It has been 2 whole days and nothing has really pissed me off. This is a rare and new situation for me and I almost feel that I going to walk out to my car and attacked by a swarm of killer bee's. Though last night I got to sit back in my chair, have a glass of brandy, and watch one of the greatest cinema classics of all time ............"Petey Wheatstraw- The Devil's Son In Law".With Rudy May Moore, one of the greatest actors of all time. Where else could you see a movie with action, drama, sex, violence, comedy, and some of the worse acting on this side of the planet. " And of course one of my favorite two lines in the movie......." Now step aside you fat head son of a bitch" and " You've got a lot of nerves for messing with my car.Penny-anny junkies, that's what you are. You'll steal from yo mama and take limbs from a tree, but I am going to kick yo ass for messing with me"! Ahhhhhhhhhhh good times, good times.
Rudy Ray Moore too was a stand up comedian so may be just one day. I too can hit it big and star in a great movie with such depth, and realism as " Petey" . I can only prey.